Circumcision Status, Lube & Masturbation Twitter Poll Results

Well, No Nut November 2019 is finally over, and so was a last-minute Twitter poll I conducted for the occasion.

For this poll, I asked male respondents for two, basic pieces of information.

One, circumcision status (cut or intact?), and two, whether or not lubrication is a necessity, though in retrospect, I probably should have worded it better. Perhaps "Do you use lube regularly when masturbating? Yes or no?" Would have been better. After all, I want to know what men usually do actually, not whether or not lube is a necessity. (It's possible for lube not to be a necessity, and still use lube quite regularly.)

At any rate, it is what it is, and now I give you the results.

It is noteworthy that, so far this has been the most popular poll I've conducted so far! 175 votes! You can see the results to other polls I've conducted if you scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post.

Notice those percentage points; respondents were more or less 50/50 in circumcision status, with half of the respondents being circumcised and half being intact.

Notice the circumcised group; 3/5ths or so indicated that circumcision was a necessity for the best masturbation experience, while the other 2/5ths indicated that external lubrication was not a necessity.

Again, I probably could have rephrased this question; it could be a lot of the "not needed" guys still actually use lubrication on a regular basis (this is actually what I need to know), they just indicated that it was "not needed."

Now let's look at the intact group; they overwhelmingly indicated that lubrication is *not* necessary for the best masturbation experience. Again, perhaps the question could have been rephrased; it could very well be these men use lubrication on a regular basis.

I'm interested in the actual day-to-day state of affairs; who uses lubrication more during masturbation?

Circumcised men? Or intact men?

That's what I want to know.

And if these numbers are any indication, it looks like circumcised men are more likely to be lube users.

Look at the circumcised and intact "lube is a must" bars: stark difference.

Here is another consideration for this poll:

Not all circumcised men are circumcised equally.

Some men are circumcised more loosely, or more tightly than others.

A loose circumcision may allow a man enough slack skin to use during masturbation, though the foreskin remnants may or may not slide effectively depending on how much mucosal tissue is left, in which case a man with a loose circumcision may still need to use lubrication.

Perhaps the large number of circumcised men who indicated the don't need lubrication during masturbation may have looser circumcisions, and those who indicated they need lubrication were circumcised more tightly.

Then there is that strange 2% of intact men who indicated that lubrication is a must; it could be they either learned to masturbate using lube so they don't know any better, or, it could also be that their mucosal tissue doesn't produce enough natural lubrication; some intact men produce more natural lubrication than others.

Unfortunately Twitter polls are rather limited and there is only so much data that can be asked for.

The original poll can be seen below:

#masturbation Lube Preference Poll

Only 3 more days of #NoNutNovember!

Men, what’s your #circumcision status?

When you masturbate, which is true for you?

-lube is a must for best experience
(E.g., KY Jelly, Albolene, coconut oil etc)

-lube is not a necessity for me#i2

— Joseph Lewis (@Joseph4GI) November 27, 2019

This No Nut November, we learned that circumcised men may use lubrication more than intact men, and that circumcised men may be more likely to develop a "death grip" during masturbation, perhaps owing to the desensitization due to circumcision.

Just for good measure, I've included a screen shot to the "death grip" poll here.

The original poll can also be accessed here:

#NoNutNovember Poll

Do you have #deathgrip?

What’s your circumcision status?

Be honest! 😏#nofap #nofapnovember

— Joseph Lewis (@Joseph4GI) November 12, 2019

Finally, I'd like to close by saying that these polls are in no way as definitive as rigorous peer-reviewed study would be. I admit that they are casual, just for fun, and that further study is needed. Hopefully actual researchers will see these polls and use them as a starting point.

Related Links

Joseph4GI's Twitter Penis Poll Results

Twitter "Circumcision Status and Death Grip" Poll Results

PEPFAR: The Plot Thickens

In my last post, I talked about how the U.S Presidents Emergency Plan For AIDS Relief (PEPFAR) is planning to end their support of infant circumcision.

I also talked about the bewildering fact organizations decided to use the Mogen clamp, despite its notoriety for its glans amputation mishaps.

 Mogen Clamp

A common adverse outcome of Mogen clamp usage

The story doesn't end there, though.

As if it weren't enough that PEPFAR and other American organizations have been engaging in human experimentation on the African population, they plan to continue further.

 Chinese Shang Ring device

According to their guidelines, PEPFAR is planning to use the Chinese-manufactured ShangRing device, another circumcision clamp that is already known to be unsafe, for future circumcisions, and they intend to test it on African populations to find the rate of adverse outcomes.

I'm not exactly sure where to begin to describe how much this reeks of human experimentation, ethical violations and human rights abuses.

I don't have the strength to write anymore on this blog post.

It should already be an outrage that PEPFAR and other organizations went through and circumcised millions of African children, even though circumcisions were supposed to be voluntary (there is nothing "voluntary" in forcibly circumcising healthy, non-consenting children), even though it was already thoroughly known that the Mogen clamps were known for its glans amputations.

It is absolutely despicable that they plan on further using African populations to test yet another device known to cause problems.

Precisely what is this about?

A genuine interest in public health?

Or testing devices on unwitting African populations?

When does the human experimentation stop?

Brendon Marrotta, creator of the award-winning documentary American Circumcision has written a much more detailed blog post, and he gives his own insights on this matter. I encourage readers to go read it.

The link to Brendon's blog can be accessed here.

Related Blog Post

BREAKING: PEPFAR To Nix Infant Circumcision in Africa

Circumcision Documentary Making Waves on Netflix, Twitter

American Circumcision: A Reaction to a Documentary on Circumcision in America

External Link

PEPFAR To Experiment On African Children With The ShangRing

BREAKING: PEPFAR To Nix Infant Circumcision in Africa

PEPFAR Plans To End Infant Circumcision Campaign In Africa

I first saw this news on Twitter. Apparently the U.S Presidents Emergency Plan For AIDS Relief (PEPFAR) is planning to end their support of infant circumcision.

These plans can be read in their draft proposal here:

PEPFAR 2020 Country Operational Plan Guidance for all PEPFAR Countries

Since the Obama years, PEPFAR has spent millions of tax dollars on "mass circumcision campaigns" in Africa under the pretext of "reducing HIV transmission," based on claims made by authors of very controversial studies.

Ignored Warnings
Their 2020 Country Operational Plan Guidance draft says they are ending their support of infant circumcision due to a high rate of "adverse events" and circumcision complications.

 

The fact that PEPFAR was funding male circumcision for *infants* in the first place raises many questions.

First, the famous African circumcision "trials" involved grown, sexually active adults. All of the campaigns happening in Africa were supposed to be aimed towards *adult* males, and was supposed to be "voluntary," hence the oft-repeated acronym "VMMC," which stands for "Voluntary Male Medical Circumcision." WHY were infants who are at ZERO risk for sexually transmitted HIV being circumcised? HOW was this "voluntary" for them?

Second, are they seriously proposing that they hadn't known of "adverse events" before? That they had to circumcise millions of infants to find out? Aren't warnings complete with photographs of adverse outcomes published in guidebooks put out by PEPFAR or UNAIDS? How was this not a live human experiment carried out on unwitting children and their parents in Africa?

Promoting the Usage of a Device Known for Circumcision Mishaps

 The Mogen Circumcision Clamp

I have already written a few posts regarding the Mogen device, and how despicable it is for "researchers" to feign dissimulation as to the adverse outcomes of the usage of this device.

The Mogen device has a terrible track record for circumcision mishaps, including glans amputations. So infamous is the Mogen clamp for circumcision mishaps that numerous million-dollar lawsuits put the company out of business.

 It has been long known that the Mogen
clamp is infamous for glans amputations.

Yet, in their plan, PEPFAR admit to using the Mogen clamp.


Why?

Why were they using it?

How was this widely-published, well-known information not known to them?

These are children who will have to go through their entire lives with damaged genitals, no thanks to PEPFAR using a device known to cause errors on a massive scale.

Taxpayers Deserve to Know More
 PEPFAR claims to have done 22.8 million circumcisions, according to one of their posts on Twitter.


This information can also be found on the government website here.

This program is being funded by the taxpayer. Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton gave 40 million of your tax dollars to this program. She and her husband have been known to be avid supporters of circumcising as many African boys and men as possible. As the people funding this madness, we have the right to know the full extent of the damage and implications this program has caused in the so-called name of "HIV prevention."

Precisely how many adverse events were there? Exactly what type of adverse outcomes are we talking about here? How old were the children? What devices were used?

Still only a draft proposal
Ending this program would be good on many levels, however these guidelines are only a draft proposal and are, as of now, still open for public comment until December 13. PEPFAR is taking public comments and anyone can add their comment here:

Draft PEPFAR COP 2020 Guidance Available for Public Comment

Guidelines for commenting on PEPFAR's website:

PEPFAR says on their website: “Your comments on the guidance are welcome and encouraged, and it is recommended that you are as specific as possible when submitting feedback.”

Meaning: PEPFAR will not read your long philosophical rant. They may not even be interested in public comments at all, and their request for comments is only a formality.

However, they might read a SPECIFIC comment on a SPECIFIC part, with a SPECIFIC suggestion.
If you leave a comment:

• Say you support PEPFAR’s decision to stop performing infant circumcision
• Ask for MORE DATA on adverse events (What specifically? With what devices? On what children, etc.?)

Further reading below:

Related Posts:

Where Circumcision Doesn't Prevent HIV

Where Circumcision Doesn't Prevent HIV II

MASS CIRCUMCISION CAMPAIGNS: The Emasculation and Harassment of Africa

CIRCUMCISION "RESEARCH": Rehashed Findings and Misleading Headlines

PEPFAR To Blow Millions on PrePex

AFRICA: PEPFAR Taking Advantage of Father's Day to Push Circumcision

MedPage Today: Circumcision "Cuts HIV" In Africa - STDs Soar In USA

Male Circumcision and HIV in Africa: EPIC FAIL

Circumcision in Africa: It ain't workin'...

Circumcision in Africa: We Keep Warning. Is Anybody Listening?

Mogen Posts:

AFRICA: Botwsana to Implement Controversial Infant Circumcision Devices

Mogen Circumcision Clamp Manufacturers Face Civil Lawsuit

CONNECTICUT: Baby's Glans Partially Amputated - Doctor Cleared of Negligence

The Ghost of Mogen

CINCINNATI: Intactivists Protest Circumcision "Experiment" at Good Samaritan Hospital

International Men's Day Issues: Circumcision

Last year, I wrote a post on International Women's Day.

I had never even heard of International Women's Day. The only reason I even became aware of it was because I started seeing posts about it on my Facebook news feed.

Pardon me if I'm too logical, but I'm one of those kinds of people who thinks in terms of opposites and converse truths.

For every high, there is a low.

For every to, there is a fro.

To and fro, stop and go, that's what makes...

Well you get the picture.

There's a mother's day, there's a father's day. There's an International Women's Day, then conversely there must be an International Men's day.

I mean right?

Is that too outlandish to think?

So I Googled it, and what was the first thing I saw?

Angry feminists, bemoaning that every year, there is a spike in searches for the question “When is international men’s day?”

Apparently, somehow men all get together and collectively decide to antagonize women.

There are a few things wrong with this line of thinking.

First, why is any feminist concerned with others Googling about an existing counterpart day for International Women's Day?

What do they care?

Does International Men's Day, or even people LOOKING UP the goddamn thing somehow invalidate women or their dedicated Day?

Why does it bother them that anyone would want to know?

How absolutely egotistical feminists must be to be concerned over who looks up to see if there's an International Men's Day.

How pettily petulant it is to pout about the fact that some people believe there should be a counterpart to International Women's Day.

The common denominator in all this angry ranting is this idea that “men have had their own celebration all other 364 days a year, for centuries,” and I call BULLSHIT.

I work and maintain my household day in and day out with maybe only major holidays off. Some Christmas Eves I have to work up until Christmas dinner, and I never once asked for a “celebration.”

Fuck, I STILL don’t care that I don’t get a pat on the back. I’m a father. It’s my responsibility to work and raise the kids I begat. In Chris Rock’s words, “You’re *supposed* to take care of your kids! What do you want, a cookie?”

Note, I was so busy working last year that November 19th came and went and I completely missed it. That's how much International Men's Day is important to me.

I mean, I care about Men's Issues, but having an International Men's Day to celebrate any victimhood we might have is just not that important to me.

I think about certain issues that pertain to boys and men every day and don't need a special day to do it.

But now that it's here, and that I've remembered, I'd like to make a post about outlining that one men's issue that I've dedicated my life to addressing; circumcision.

Why do I think circumcision is an important men's issue?

People would like to dismiss circumcision as this "tiny snip performed in infancy that no one remembers."

But the problem is much bigger than that.

Self-Autonomy

Circumcising an infant child takes away a man's choice as an adult.

The fact is that 70% of men are intact globally.

29% or so were forcibly circumcised as children or youths as a matter of religious or cultural custom, and less than 1% ever need circumcision as a medical intervention.

This means that, given the choice, men would rather keep their whole penises. 

Forcibly imposing a surgical alteration on a child's genitals that he may not want as an adult violates a man's self autonomy and open future.

"My body, my choice" for girls and women, but not boys and men is a sexist double-standard.

Stigmatization and Body Shaming

In countries where circumcision is the norm, intact men are body-shamed.

In Western countries, it is considered inappropriate to make jokes about women's genitals in any way, much less female genital cutting. We are not to talk about large labia, fish smell or menstruation.

And yet it seems to be quite acceptable for people in American media to take gratuitous swipes at intact men, and even make jokes about having men and boys forcibly circumcised.

Belittling jokes and humor about "all that extra skin" and smegma can be seen in American stand-up comedy, in television shows and Hollywood movies.

Women are not to be objectified.

Feminists resent being seen by men as nothing more than sexual fantasy, reduced to just a walking set of breasts and buttocks.

And yet, it seems it's acceptable for women on social media to reduce to men to walking, talking penises, openly state that intact men are "ew, gross," that they would never date one, and that they will be sure to circumcise their male children to satisfy the sexual preferences of hypothetical daughter-in-laws.

It would never  be acceptable for men to express that they prefer the look of a circumcised vulva, much less bragging on social media that they would circumcise their daughters to appease a hypothetical male suitor.

In non-Western countries, such as different countries in Africa where male circumcision is the norm, it goes beyond the shaming and harassment of intact males. In some African tribes, such as the Bagisu, if a male is found to be intact, they will parade him through the streets and forcibly circumcise him. Some tribes, such as the Kikuyu, go as far as circumcising the males of rival tribes that do not circumcise.

The objectification of men, and the sexualization of newborns needs to stop.

The body-shaming and humiliation of intact men needs to stop.

The bodies of people of both sexes need to be respected.

Invalidation of Men Who Resent their Circumcision

When women who have undergone FGM speak, the world listens.

People lend an ear, and give their empathy and compassion.

When men who were circumcised at birth express resentment of what happened to them, they are often belittled if not dismissed outright.

Some people go as far as expressing disbelief that any men actually resent their circumcision “because it happened so long ago,”, or that their circumcisions have caused them pain or discomfort when masturbating or having sexual intercourse with a partner. “A man can still get hard and ejaculate,” so what’s the problem?” they say.

A circumcised woman could still take in sperm and shoot out babies. Imagine if anyone said that. It’s not acceptable to think of a woman as a baby-making machine, but it’s perfectly fine to reduce a man to a living, breathing sperm bank.

This gets into another point that needs to be raised; the sexuality of women is placed on a pedestal and worshiped, whilst male sexuality is minimized or deemed immaterial. I recently got into an argument on Twitter with a woman who made a comment along the lines of "Why is male sexuality important? When a man and a woman have sex, what matters is that the woman is satisfied. Why does everything have to center around men?" Is it not immediately obvious that if men had the full equipment they were born with, they might know how to use it to please women better? No one ever made the argument that women's satisfaction didn't matter, but the same person in the same breath states that a woman's satisfaction matters whilst a man's doesn't.

It's all interrelated. How are men supposed to know how to pleasure a woman when they've been masturbating with and having sex with damaged equipment their whole lives? You can't dismiss male sexuality issues such as circumcision, where 80% of American men have had their genitals mutilated at birth, and then wonder why, oh why is sex with men so dissatisfying.

Male sexuality matters.

What happens to men affects women. Women who care about pleasure during heterosexual intercourse with men ought to be concerned instead of dismissing it and treating it as inconsequential.

Why do we dismiss and ridicule men who resent their circumcision?

Why does it matter that a man’s circumcision happened so long ago?

A woman is allowed to “me too” about a fuzzy incidence in college she can’t exactly remember, but the rules are different for boys and men.

"Believe her," but not "him."

You can't deny a woman's "lived experience," but you can deny a man's.

Why the double-standard?

A man touches his penis and is reminded of his circumcision every time he urinates, takes a shower, masturbates and makes love. The question isn’t “How can he remember?” The question is, How can he forget?

It has recently become en vogue to criticize men not expressing their feelings as “toxic masculinity.”

Saying “Men should express themselves more” is just lip service if they’re going to be dismissed or ridiculed.

Erasure

When a person's genitals are forcibly cut, it shouldn't matter what sex or gender they are in order to think his or her basic human rights were violated.

And yet there is this firewall between the forced genital cutting of males and females.

While there are entire organizations and world governments speaking out against the forced genital cutting of girls and women, they are strangely silent when it comes to the forced genital cutting of boys and men.

While human rights advocates fly half-way around the globe to decry the genital mutilation of girls and women, the very same people display a willful ignorance to the genital mutilation of boys in their own countries. While their cameras faithfully bring back images of girls being restrained as they have part of their genitals forcibly cut off, they somehow fail to capture images of the boys who are enduring the same in the very same countries.

And yet, when the issue of male genital cutting is raised, it is met with immediate shut-down.

"We're talking about women's genital cutting, not boys and men."

"Must we talk about men's penises?"

Say some people.

So when are we going to talk about the forced genital cutting of boys and men?

When do we stop talking about vaginas and start giving attention to men's penises?

The irony is lost on people who frame the raising of the fact that 3,000 male infants are circumcised a day in the United States, while FGM is banned in several states, as an "interruption."

We talk a whole awful lot about how women endure FGM in the African bush, by amateurs using crude utensils such as rusty blades and glass shards, but we don't want to talk about the fact that scores of young men die every year on the same continent.

"Men interrupt conversations about women's genital cutting to talk about their penises. Typical."

Say some women.

"We are being erased," they say.

Oh the bloody irony.

It's about time we stopped erasing the boys and men.

There is no shortage of organizations decrying FGM.

It's forced male genital cutting that is erased.

Conclusion

I hope this post gives readers a glimpse of all the issues that surround male circumcision, and I hope they can see that there's more to it than just "a little snip." This International Men's Day let's give male circumcision the overdue attention it deserves.

I'd like to close by giving some of the men in this movement honorable mention.

Thank you David Llewellyn, for all the legal work you do.

Thank you Dr. Dean Edell for being a Jewish voice against male infant circumcision.

Thank you Leonard Glick, for your book Marked in Your Flesh.

Thank you Brian Earp for all the research on this and other topics that you do.

Thank you Steven Svoboda, for running Attorneys for the Rights of the Child.

Thank you Brendon Marotta for your documentary American Circumcision.

Thank you Eric Clopper, for using your voice and making the sacrifices that you have.

Thank you Eliyahu Ungar-Sargon for your documentary Cut.

Thank you Brother K for having the courage to do the things I never could.

And sorry to those of you whom I couldn't remember off the top of my head.

Mission Statement
The foreskin is not a birth defect. Neither is it a congenital deformity or genetic anomaly akin to a 6th finger or a cleft. Neither is it a medical condition like a ruptured appendix or diseased gall bladder. Neither is it a dead part of the body, like the umbilical cord, hair, or fingernails.

The foreskin is not "extra skin." The foreskin is normal, natural, healthy, functioning tissue, present in all males at birth; it is as intrinsic to male genitalia as labia are to female genitalia.

Unless there is a medical or clinical indication, the circumcision of a healthy, non-consenting individuals is a deliberate wound; it is the destruction of normal, healthy tissue, the permanent disfigurement of normal, healthy organs, and by very definition, infant genital mutilation, and a violation of the most basic of human rights.

Without medical or clinical indication, doctors have absolutely no business performing surgery in healthy, non-consenting individuals, much less be eliciting any kind of "decision" from parents.

In any other case, reaping profit from non-medical procedures on non-consenting individuals constitutes medical fraud.

Genital integrity, autonomy and self-determination are inalienable human rights. I am against the forced circumcision of healthy, non-consenting minors because it violates these rights.

Genital mutilation, whether it be wrapped in culture, religion or “research” is still genital mutilation.

It is mistaken, the belief that the right amount of “science” can be used to legitimize the deliberate violation of basic human rights.

Related Posts:

Happy International Women’s Day Marilyn Milos

RED HERRING: The Abortion DebateCircumcision is Child Abuse: A Picture Essay

Twitter "Circumcision Status and Death Grip" Poll Results

In my last post, I discussed No Nut November and why people might choose to partake in it.

I discussed "death grip," what might be contributing factors to its cause, and how one may be able to overcome it.

I discussed my own personal experience with detrimental masturbation habits and how I managed to overcome them.

Finally I discussed the effects of circumcision and why I believe there might be a correlation between the incidence of "death grip" and being circumcised.

Being No Nut November, and overcoming "death grip" being one of the reasons men might decided to take part, I created a poll on Twitter asking for men to self-report whether or not they are struggling with "death grip" and their circumcision status.

Well, the poll has finally closed after 7 days, the result are in, and here they are.

Up front, it must be said that 40 respondents isn't a huge sample size, but I'm still posting these results for what it's worth.

Here are my observations:

There were slightly more circumcised respondents than intact.

On either side, there were more respondents that reported they weren't experiencing "death grip," as opposed to those who reported they were.

I want to bring attention to the difference in intact and circumcised men who reported they were experiencing "death grip"; there were far more circumcised men than intact men.

The greater number of respondents were intact men reporting they were not experiencing "death grip."

Is there a correlation between circumcision and a higher rate of men experiencing "death grip?"

Again, this isn't definitive by any means, as the sample size is rather small, but if these numbers mean anything, it seems more circumcised men may be experiencing the phenomenon of "death grip" than intact men.

This was an informal poll with a very small sample size, but I hope this might serve as a starting point for others interested in exploring this further.

That's all she wrote for today!

Original Tweet below:

#NoNutNovember Poll

Do you have #deathgrip?

What’s your circumcision status?

Be honest! 😏#nofap #nofapnovember

— Joseph Lewis (@Joseph4GI) November 12, 2019

Related Post

Death Grip and Circumcision: Is There a Correlation?

Posts about other Twitter Polls I've Conducted:

Joseph4GI's Twitter Penis Polls

Joseph4GI's Twitter Penis Poll Results

Death Grip and Circumcision: Is There a Correlation?

Bu-GAWK!!!

WARNING: This post focuses on masturbation and shows illustrations of it, as well as close-up, non-sexual pictures of penises. The blogger gives a graphic, personal account of his experiences with masturbation.

Are you choking the chicken a little too hard? You might be.

We're in the middle of November. Or, as some would like to coin it, "No Nut November."

"No Nut November" is a time when men abstain from masturbation for a number of reasons.

Some organizations like NoFap encourage abstinence from masturbation to "overcome porn addiction."

Others believe that masturbation itself can be an addiction, and that No Nut November is a good time to demonstrate to yourself that you are "master of your domain."

There is yet another reason why some men may choose to abstain for a time, and that is to overcome what has come to be known as "death grip."

What Is Death Grip?

The term "death grip" as it pertains to masturbation was originally coined by sex columnist Dan Savage.

Sex Columnist Dan Savage

In all honesty, it's not something that has been officially recognized, but it describes a condition where men masturbate in a way that is too aggressive, so aggressive that it may be negatively affecting their sex life with their partners, if not affecting the way they enjoy masturbation.

It has spawned many an article on the internet, and even its own Wikipedia entry.

Some men develop a masturbation technique that applies too much pressure on the penis. They grasp their penis with a tighter and tighter grip, until they get used to extreme sensations, such as the heavy pressure and rough friction that are only possible with a tight grip during masturbation, to the point where actual sex with a partner may be difficult. Skeptics dismiss "death grip" as a just anorgasmia, but it isn't so simple; men who report using "death grip" to masturbate report that they can still experience pleasure, but that a vagina feels "too loose" and even fellatio does not provide enough pleasure to result in orgasm.

What Causes Death Grip?

It is not known for certain what causes this phenomenon, but people attribute the condition to different causes.

Too Much Porn

It may be the case that with the free availability of pornography on the internet, men have become used to extreme, unrealistic fantasies portrayed in the artificial setting porn, to the point that normal, real-life average sex isn't so exciting. For this reason, organizations like NoFap encourage men to abstain from pornography.

Too Much Masturbation

This looks like it may be linked to pornography, but it isn't always the case; it is possible to masturbate without pornography.

When men go through puberty and become sexually active (e.g., begin to masturbate) sex is not usually readily available. A young man will have learned to masturbate, and masturbate hundreds of times to sexual fantasies he invents, before finally coming into contact with pornography and eventually sex with an actual real-life partner happens for him. He may develop an aggressive masturbatory technique in the interim that may desensitize him to the sensations of a looser vagina.

Taboo Surrounding Masturbation

For better or for worse, masturbation is still a rather taboo subject nobody wants to admit they do, let alone have an honest discussion about. Young men may not be aware that they might be masturbating in a way that could be detrimental to their future sex lives, they're too afraid to ask others about it, and others stay away from this topic of conversation.

Young men learn quickly that speed and stealth are the name of the game; masturbation is to be conducted in a quick, hushed manner, always in secret, always hurried so as to not be discovered by mom, dad or siblings. This being the case, men learn masturbation techniques for the purpose of ending the masturbation as quickly and as quiet as possible, not necessarily for the prolonged enjoyment of pleasurable sensations. Therefore they develop tight grips and aggressive friction techniques that result in the instant and intense sensations needed for quick release.

Supine vs Prone Masturbation - My Personal Story

Your blogger is going to come out to you and say that he himself has experienced trouble with orgasm, both during masturbation and with partnered sexual intercourse. I learned that I was masturbating in a strange and detrimental way since I was about 16, and I have been researching the topic of anorgasmia, benign and detrimental masturbation technique since.

I'd like to begin my story with how I was raised; I grew up in a very conservative, very Christian household where conversations about sex, let alone masturbation, were not allowed. I grew up around a number of male cousins. As children, we would look for opportunities to show each other our penises and what we could do with them. We would find private, secluded places to urinate with each other and show each other our erections. I remember that age 3 or 4, one of my cousins could already fully retract his foreskin to reveal the purple, shiny head of his penis. I remember being transfixed by this act, and I remember feeling like something was wrong with my penis because I couldn't do that, and it hurt to try. Incidentally, my foreskin didn't become retractable until I was 8 or 9.

One day, we were at my aunt's house, in a room, showing each other our penises, when my aunt came in and saw what was happening. She immediately found a belt and started spanking all of us. She told us we were sick and dirty and that we were not to show each other our penises ever again. This alone should sum up to my readers what attitudes concerning sex and masturbation were like in my family. From then on, I learned that there was something wrong with others seeing my penis, and that it had to stay in my pants at all times save for using the bathroom or taking a bath.

I discovered self-pleasure at the age of 8 out on my school playground by complete accident. One day at school, I was playing on one of those huge wooden apparatuses often installed in a large sandbox, complete with monkey bars, bridges, slides and sloping logs.

It was something like this, but with sand.

The bell marking the end of morning recess had rung, and I needed get back down to go and line up with my class. I got onto the nearest log I could, with my penis up against it, and I slid down not even thinking about it. As I slid down, this intense wave of pressure started burning itself from my crotch, slowly engulfing my whole body. The orgasm was so intense I lost consciousness. By the time I woke back up, all the classes had already lined up and gone back into their classrooms. I was embarrassed to arrive at my classroom late; the teacher was asking where I was and she couldn't believe it when I told her that I "fell asleep" at the sandbox.

From that day on, I was on a quest to recreate those sensations again. I learned very quickly from the other teachers that there was something wrong with humping the logs at school. I had to move operations to underneath the sandbox; I learned to hump the sand. I couldn't wait until playtime. I could hide under the wooden apparatus, hump the sand and nobody would know. At home, I learned I had to hide underneath the bed and hump the carpet, because my mom told me if I kept humping the couch arms that my guts would spill out my penis.

Looking back, how I learned to masturbate resulted in a sort of excommunication from my peers. Words like "masturbation" and "jacking off" sounded alien to me. At church, I would often hear sermons about how boys and men shouldn't masturbate. I used to have this sort of pride in myself because I believed I never masturbated. Why would I believe I ever did? I never touched myself. I wasn't a nasty boy like all the others. At school, other boys would ask me "Do you jack off?" "Jack off?" I'd ask. "Yeah. You know..." and they would do the classic, familiar motion with a fist.

I didn't know what they were talking about then. I didn't do what they did. I'd say "You're gross. I don't do that." Little did I know...

It wasn't until I was approaching my late teens when I started discovering things on the internet... puberty... circumcision... masturbation... you know, the usual stuff.

I would discover that I was an outlier, and that not only was I always masturbating and just didn't know it, I didn't masturbate in the way most boys and men did. I read on a few websites that men who masturbated by humping pillows and mattresses, otherwise known as the "prone" position, often had trouble when having sexual intercourse with a partner, so I wanted to correct this.

Masturbating in the "prone" position

The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to learn to masturbate how other guys did. More and more, I saw the way I masturbated as a disadvantage. The way I masturbated, I could only masturbate if I was in a room with a rug or a carpet; cold tiled floors were a no-go. A bathroom was ideal since I could easily lock the door for privacy, but if there were no rugs, I'd be SOL.

I was a teen through the 90's, a time of desktop computer towers with large heavy screens, separate mice and keyboards hooked up to dial-up America On-Line accounts. If I wanted to masturbate to porn, I needed to bring down the computer screen to my level (down to the floor), or use printed material. That or simply imagine sexy scenes in my head. I had to sign into America On-Line and hope nobody picked up the phone. It was cumbersome to bring down the large heavy CRT monitor, mouse and keyboard every time I wanted to masturbate to porn. It had to be a day when no one was home and I was sure not to be walked on, unless I wanted to explain why the monitor, mouse and keyboard were on the floor.

So having read many websites about this topic, I wanted to start trying to masturbate in the good ol' fashioned way. I remember that taking my hand and moving my fist up and down did almost nothing for me. I tried many times, but I would always revert to humping the carpet. I would do this completely flaccid and with pants on, by the way. The way I masturbated, I had to learn to wait until my erection died down, and I could position my crotch with my flaccid penis up against the carpet to hump up and down. After many attempts to masturbate my erect member with my hand, I came to the realization that I couldn't masturbate like most guys did. It made me feel like a freak. It felt almost like when I didn't know how to ride a bike or whistle.

Then I read on a website, I can't remember which one, that it's possible to learn to masturbate sitting face up with the hand, otherwise known as the "supine position" if one abstained for a few days before trying. No touching the penis, no looking at porn, nothing. And then, after a while, sit down and learn to appreciate subtle sensations. So I decided to try doing that.

How most men masturbate: "supine" position

College was approaching, and I decided I didn't want to start life as a college student with that problem, so I made it a point to abstain for like 15 days and learn to masturbate "the right way" once and for all. During my first month as a freshman, I decided to have a masturbation session while my roommate was away. I started touching myself, and I started imagining sexy thoughts. I remember it took a while, and I remember it was the strangest sensation to approach orgasm with my hard penis in my hand. I was used to orgasming and ejaculating while humping the floor, completely soft, but this was different. I remember it taking a long time because I just wasn't used to it.

After a long, long time, and me vigorously pumping away, I finally allowed myself to cum. I had no idea how I'd handle it. Being intact, I would always cum in my foreskin. My pants were up the whole time (it's not necessary to undress when humping the floor, making it all that much more convenient), so I didn't have to deal with a mess. I'd just go to the bathroom afterwards, stand over the toilet, unzip, pull my foreskin back and let all the cum drip into the bowl. This time, I had cum all over my hands and clothes. It was the first time in my life that I ever ejaculated while having an erection. I remember it was exciting for me because up until that point, I had never witnessed my penis shoot sperm with my own eyes.

But that excitement was to be short lived, because I heard my roommate put the key in the knob to unlock it, and I had to pull my covers over me and pretend I was asleep until he left. I think he might have been able to tell that the room smelt of cum.

I experienced a mixture of feelings; excitement at finally having been able to masturbate with my hand, relief at finally achieving my goal, embarrassment at almost being "caught," grossness and helplessness at remembering I had no choice but to pull my covers over and onto my cum-covered body, and a bit of anger at my roommate for coming back earlier than expected, even though this was completely my fault and should have made sure he wasn't coming back soon. But all in all, I felt relieved that I was finally able to masturbate the way most other guys did. That night, I had a huge load (pun absolutely intended) of laundry to do.

The story doesn't end there, though.

I had learned to masturbate with my hand, but it still took forever, as I still wasn't used to masturbating this way. So while I could cum on a dime when it came to humping the floor, it took me ages to reach orgasm using my hand. It took forever, and I was squeezing so hard my penis hurt after masturbation every time. I had weaned myself off of humping the floor, but now I had, what I now know as "death grip."

Fast-forward to when I started having sex with partners, and the problem reared its ugly head; while it felt fulfilling to have sex with my girlfriend, it was simply fact that I did "take forever," as it were. The best sensations, at the time, were of me humping the floor, better than even "death grip" masturbation. I had to do something.

How do experts recommend getting rid of Death Grip?
Having read different resources on this topic, I noticed that there are some suggestions by experts that keep recurring.

The first thing many experts recommend is making it a point to change ones' masturbation habits. This should be easy enough, but from the experience of someone who has struggled through this, it's easier said than done. It requires making a conscious effort and patience. Becoming frustrated with not seeing immediate results, it's always easy to revert to old habits to achieve that gratification one already knows how to get so easily, so it's important to resolve to make it a point to make a change, and to keep toward that goal.

The second thing many experts recommend is a long, sustained period of abstinence before attempting to start changing one's masturbation habits. During this abstinence period, a man shouldn't look at porn, or even touch himself in a sexual way. The idea is that a man has become accustomed to intense visual and physical stimuli (e.g. extreme sexual fantasies that only exist in porn, and the extremely high pressure of a tightly clenched fist on the penis), and so his thresholds of stimuli must be "reset."

NoFap calls this "rebooting the brain to factory settings."

Finally, experts recommend, having gone through that period of abstinence, to actually learn healthy masturbation habits. From this moment on, a man has to make it a point to masturbate and achieve orgasm only in the supine position, if he used to masturbate prone. Instead of a tight grip, a man should masturbate learning to listen to and enjoy the subtle sensations of light touch. Men are encouraged to use lubrication and a lighter grip that more closely resembles the soft tissues of the vagina. Some websites recommend using a penetrative sex toy that allows a man to mimic vaginal sex, such as a Fleshlight.

Still other experts recommend men learn to masturbate in the absence of porn. Instead, of masturbating while watching porn, they recommend watching it, but then turning it off and masturbate using only the imagination. 

"Don't touch yourself while you watch porn. Soak up the images, saver it and get crazy turned on. Then, turn off the laptop, go to another room and replay the images in your mind while you masturbate. This allows you to tune more into the sensations in your penis, without the distraction from all the input to your eyes," says certified sex coach Sarah Martin, MA.

I think this is an important point, because a dependency on pornography limits a man in the sense that, he can only ever masturbate if he has a laptop or porn mags. I myself don't think there's anything wrong with pornography, but I don't want to have to depend on it to get off.

All experts agree that teaching the body to enjoy new and less intense stimulation will take time and patience. If you feel yourself reverting to old habits, you have to learn to have the will power to stop and not allow yourself to go back. 

The Conclusion to My Story
I was eventually able to wean myself off of using the floor to masturbate, but I still had this lingering problem of not having full control of my orgasms. From time to time, I still found myself resorting to "death grip." It's embarrassing to admit, but sometimes I took forever to orgasm with my wife. On more than one occasion we had to stop because it wasn't going anywhere.

I had heard of NoFap and No Nut November, and I already knew that at some point or another, I needed to commit myself to a "reboot" period if I was serious about relearning how to masturbate.

So last year, last November, I told myself "this is it." I decided that for at least once in my life, I was going to abstain for 30 days, and that it was going to be November of 2018.For 30 days, I abstained from any sexual activity; no masturbation, no touching myself, nothing.

By the end, after 30 days of fighting back the urge to masturbate, I was curious about what masturbation was going to feel like. Marked on my calendar was the night of the 30th when I would break my masturbation fast. "Bate-fast" I'd like to call it.

I swear I had never felt my erection so huge in my hands, and I had never been so sensitive. I wasn't gripping, I wasn't rushing, and I felt I had full control of when I was about to orgasm. Call it the feeling of success, call it "just relief after 30 days," but I must say that after 30 days of absolutely no sexual activity, I had the most sensational masturbation session, possibly the best ever in my whole life.

Not only was my masturbation experience better than ever, this also translated to better sex with my wife. I became convinced that abstaining from masturbation can actually be a good thing.

The moral of the story is that how a man learns to masturbate could influence whether or not he develops detrimental self-pleasure techniques, and ultimately, how he has sex with a partner.

I think that if men would be allowed to discuss masturbation openly with one another, the world would be a better place. If men discussed how they masturbated, and maybe even mentored each other on benign and detrimental ways of masturbating, perhaps they would learn how to avoid problems such as "death grip" and improve their solo, as well as partnered sex lives.

I admit this could sound creepy to some, but in retrospect, I really wish someone would have talked to me about masturbation. I wish somebody would have told me "You're doing it wrong. You should try masturbating how most men do it." I think it would have saved me lots of trouble.

Circumcised vs Intact

There is still one more elephant-in-the-room factor that I believe may contribute to the development of "death grip" and that is circumcision status.

It had been long known since the time of John Harvey Kellogg that circumcision made masturbation difficult. It was known for longer than that, as Rabbi Maimonides wrote in his book "A Guide for the Perplexed" that circumcision was supposed to render the male organ to make it "as quiet as possible."

Moses "Rambam" Maimonides (1135-1204)

"...with regard to circumcision, one of the reasons for it is, in my opinion, the wish to bring about a decrease in sexual intercourse and a weakening of the organ in question, so that this activity be diminished and the organ be in as quiet a state as possible"~"A Guide for the Perplexed" Part III, Chapter 49, Page 609

Circumcision may contribute to a desensitization of the penis, because it removes the most sensitive part of the penis. Sorrells et al. measured sensitivity along different points of the penis in intact and circumcised men, and found published their findings in the British Journal of Urology.

 Findings by Sorrells et al.: Circumcision removes the most sensitive part of the penis.

On their Death Grip article, Men's Health says "There may be a link to masturbation with death grip and penile nerve damage, but there currently isn't enough scientific data to support this conclusion."

This is an interesting passage, because it is simply irrefutable fact that circumcision is deliberate nerve damage; it is the cutting away of the most sensitive of nerves on the penis. In addition to removing sensitive areas on the penis, the lack of a foreskin causes the mucosal tissue of the glans and remaining inner part of the foreskin to become dried out and hardened in a process called "keratinization," which could result in further desensitizing the penis.

The glans in intact and circumcised penes

With all this nerve removal and keritinization, could it be that men are developing aggressive masturbation techniques as a result of being circumcised?

Could there a correlation?

I don't know. As I've already let readers know, I experienced this phenomenon of "death grip" and a difficult time reaching orgasm by manual masturbation and with a partner, even though I'm not circumcised, so it may be possible that both intact and circumcised men may be susceptible to this phenomenon, albeit to different degrees.

The world may never know until scientists decide to break with taboo and actually investigate this. It's nearly 2020 and people STILL have hangups about sex and masturbation.

Take My Twitter Poll!
It may not amount to much, if anything this could be a good start for other interested researchers to follow, but for now, I'm conducting a quick Twitter poll asking for men to self-report whether or not they are struggling with "death grip" and their circumcision status.

Current stats show it’s a slightly bigger problem with circumcised men. (21% circumcised vs 9% intact men) But 33 respondents is a tiny sample size; it would be great if more men responded. The poll closes in 1 day. Readers, if you can, please vote, and please retweet/share this link where possible. (See Below)

#NoNutNovember Poll

Do you have #deathgrip?

What’s your circumcision status?

Be honest! 😏#nofap #nofapnovember

— Joseph Lewis (@Joseph4GI) November 12, 2019

Original Post on Death Grip:

Related Posts:

Death Grip and Circumcision: Is There a Correlation?

Joseph4GI's Twitter Penis Polls

Joseph4GI's Twitter Penis Poll Results

External Links 
Men's Health Death Grip Article

Death Grip Entry on Wikipedia